Day Shift — Ego: The Helper and The Barrier
“What I am is beauty. What I am is wholeness."
There's a quote from my favorite teacher of all time, Sri Aurobindo, who says:
“Ego was the helper, ego is the bar.”
What he's saying there is that we need to know who and what we are before we move in any direction we want to move in.
Ego is that thing that develops as we develop, that thing that begins to take form as we individuate from our mother, as we individuate from the people around us, as we begin to know ourselves, and know our likes and our dislikes, and know what tribe we belong to and what tribe we don't belong to.
It's how we begin to know the world, by looking at it through these particular eyes, and how does it look through these eyes in comparison to how does it look through those eyes, and through those eyes and through that group over there. It's how we find our place in the world.
And then, just about the time we're starting to figure that out, we realize, wait a minute, I became successful, I got money, I got love, I got a little success. Something happened, but nothing changed in here. I'm not happy.
What's going on? Ah, there's something more. So then I use ego to start finding that something more, and then I find out that ego is the thing that's keeping me from having that something more. And then I have to begin setting ego aside in order to find out what that something more is.
And this is an extremely challenging job, especially for those of us who have really had to work hard to know it's okay to be me, to know it's okay to be on the planet, to know it's okay to just be okay.
And yet, if I want to get the fullness of what I am, find the truth of what I am, I have to begin the process slowly of setting the ego aside and asking: without this experience of myself, without these thoughts and feelings and opinions and ideas, what am I? Is there still something here? And the answer, of course, is yes. And what is it that's here? The answer to that is, what's here is the truth of me. It's the part of me that never changes.
And as I begin to set my idea of myself as the ego aside and begin to learn, through spiritual practices, through meditation, more and more about this other thing that I am, this experience of consciousness that I am, this experience of silence and truth that I am, then I begin to get in touch with how it's actually meant to feel here on this planet, in a body, which is joyful. We're meant to be happy, joyous, and free.
The ego can't find that. All it can find is sensation. The truth of me is happiness itself, is the ability to enjoy itself, is freedom itself.
And as I begin to work on the one, I can then bring the other in and begin to know myself as both of them. I'm not going to give up the fact that I have opinions, that I have ideas, that I have a mind, that I have wants and likes and desires, but I'm going to know more and more that that's not what I am.
What I am is truth.
What I am is beauty.
What I am is wholeness.
Let me know myself as that, and then from that knowing, see what all this wants to do.
So today I'm going to step into the world and let go of who I think I am in order to discover who I might be in addition to that. And I'm going to look at someone on the street or in my office or in my classroom and say: what if I and they, underneath all the differences, are exactly the same? How would that make this interaction go? And then see what happens.
Thanks for listening. Have a beautiful day.
Jeff Kober is an accomplished actor, photographer and vedic meditation teacher. He has had regular roles in notable series like The Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, and NCIS: Los Angeles, and has appeared in numerous films including Sully and Beauty Mark. Kober is also a writer and artist, and has previously penned screenplays and co-authored the book Art That Pays.
