Day Shift — Peace In Perseverance

“If you're here, you have a reason to be here."

Today I'm speaking about a piece called Philip Marlowe and the I Ching — this is from my book, Embracing Bliss. I'll start with a quote from the I Ching:

“One turns back and submits to fate, changes one's attitude and finds peace in perseverance.”

The I Ching is all about the constant changing-ness of life. And here's a quote from Raymond Chandler, actually, from The Long Goodbye, which is

“To say goodbye is to die a little.”

I love Raymond Chandler. He really made me feel comfortable here in Los Angeles when I first moved here, and was terribly lonely, and afraid, and unsure of what life was about. And I used the I Ching a lot to just look for some kind of guidance in life. Someone to say, “Yes, do this,” “No, don't do that,” or “Things will change,” as they always do.

And I was at an acting class downtown one night in my taxi, I was driving a taxi at the time, and someone broke into the car and stole all my books, all my notebooks. And this included the I Ching. It was a terrible loss.

A few weeks later, I was at the Counterpoint Bookstore up in Hollywood, and I started talking to someone who had just begun working there. He was a former Jesuit priest, and he had left the Brotherhood because he had taken a vow of silence for 22 years and then they said, “Oh by the way, you can talk now.” And it just blew his mind. And he didn't know what to do with his life. So he was selling books in Hollywood.

And I told him about the loss of my I Ching, and he gave me his copy. And so I found my first edition copy of The Long Goodbye, and I gave him that in exchange. Just because it was so valuable to me that someone saw my despair, and from the place of their own despair, reached out to offer me something. I had to answer that in kind.

You know, one day I went back to the bookstore, and the former priest was no longer there. I really would love to know what happened to him. I know what happened to me, and I know that both he and I were seeking an experience of the divine that was knowable, that was feel-able. And when I wasn't able to find that experience of the divine, I told myself it was because I didn't deserve it.

That's the natural thing that we humans do. “It's not happening for me, it seems to be happening for others, I must not deserve it. I must be bad. There must be something wrong with me.” What I found is that it's not possible to not belong here. It's not possible to not be worthy of life. To not be worthy of an experience of the divine.

In fact, it's not possible to have an experience that is other than an experience of the divine. But it took many, many years of seeking, and searching, and finally finding a meditation practice that allowed me to go past the mind that tells me terrible stories about myself, and past those places where someone as much in despair as Raymond Chandler was, was actually a step up from where I was.

I'm so grateful for the people in my life, those who have written things, and those who have just reached out to me here and there and said, “Here's one more moment. Stay alive for one more moment and keep moving forward. There is a place to get to.”

Which is what I want to say to you here.

Today, just remember that if you're here, you belong here. If you're here, you have a reason to be here. And life can be about finding that reason.

Thanks so much for listening. Have a beautiful day.

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Jeff Kober is an accomplished actor, photographer and vedic meditation teacher. He has had regular roles in notable series like The Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, and NCIS: Los Angeles, and has appeared in numerous films including Sully and Beauty Mark. Kober is also a writer and artist, and has previously penned screenplays and co-authored the book Art That Pays.